‘They say’ how you do anything is how you do everything.
But have you ever asked yourself how do YOU do anything?
i’ve been reading a lot of indie author books lately, thinking to myself these guys did it. They said, “i’m going to write a book,” wrote it, and then sent it out in the world.
They are the big dreamers AND the big doers.
i’ve said i am going to write a book at least 100 times. And if you’ve followed me + my words as captured here on this online space, you know that i’ve dreamt up and promised many a book(s).
Most them (100% of them) did not get written.
But if how i do anything is how i do everything, i don’t want to know myself as someone who doesn’t see things through – who has big dreams but little to no ‘finish-through.’
i don’t want that to be how i do everything.
So i collect memories and past successes where i dreamt big but did BIGGER – GAG MAGAZINE, Miss Diva USofA, Breaking Creative submission – so i don’t fall into the creative trappings of self berating – you NEVER see a project through, self doubt – you suck, self comparison – she is way: prettier, talented, smarter, better wordsmith, god, and self sabotage – mindless scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Buzzfeed trying to distract myself from feeling like shit only to feel like more shit because there’s Kim Kardashian (she’s fucking everywhere) making mad money doing nothing, creating nothing, being nothing.
That’s a hard downward spiral for even master creatives to get out of.
But that’s my cycle, that’s sometimes (most of the times) part of my process . . .
And there it was – shining through the muck of me – my ‘how i did anything.’
i stutter. i fail to see something through. i fall off the creative wagon. i compare myself to people i have no business comparing myself to. My inner hater wins this round.
But then i take the reigns. Claim control. Remember who i am – me: a strong creator of many acts of creativity the bringer of life to many artistic things. And i pick myself up – sometimes gently sometimes harshly, dust myself off and try again.
Until finally, eventually, my try becomes the art.
Which, come to thing of it, is really how i do everything.
Today when you start to feel your inner hater coming out and you see yourself slipping through the cracks of doing, remember and collect the things you have done.
Remember who you are – a massively creative, important, a bad ass being – and reclaim your power to do.
Here’s to mad reclaimation.
P.S. This is a good side dish for this essay. And this song, is the ultimate soundtrack. Play it on a loop. You’ll start to feel invincible.