i’m officially a self-employed artist/creative!!!
i woke up yesterday to the beat and pace of my own drum.
Today the same thing.
And the space and the room to do and create whatever i want is freeing – and scary.
These past few days have been filled with a lot of firsts . . .
First time leading my own non-drag related mini-class . . .
First time doing that ↑ online . . .
And the first time i feel i’m really helping people by sharing what i’ve learned and experienced – i.e. turning my life lessons into lessons that help others.
Which is what i’m aiming to do with my LAMMY book – a book i haven’t touched in weeks.
i’m telling myself it’s because i have to write the copy for this online class AND finish the final round of edits on my book about drag, Be the Queen You Already Are, in order to get it to my readers by Sunday . . . But my gut says it’s something else.
And the fact that i have created more space for myself and my art means i have to start facing some hard truths . . .
Like, am i making excuses?
Am i doing everything else but writing? If so, that’s because . . . ?!?!?!?!
Am i a writer, a storyteller?
Or am i not?
Am i really capable of doing the work it takes to write an honest, real, and useful book?
Right now . . . honestly, i don’t know.
But i believe it’s so.
And belief is a pretty great fucking seed to plant in all my new space.
i may grow into it or i may not.
But i know the water lies within me . . .
and i have a choice and a say as to which direction i will grow.
And this week, i’m bound and determined to grow in the direction of writer.
i WILL grow there.