Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.
If you’re wondering where you might have heard this quote, it’s from the super catchy song by Semisonic called Closing Time.
That song has been on my mind a lot lately — as has who i am, what my business is and what i want it to be.
These first three months of 2018 have been extremely different than the last few years in that instead of trying to do MORE or do it ALL, i’m actually trying to do less. *GASP* i know what you’re thinking:
OMFG! SHE’S BEEN HACKED!! WHO IS THIS I-WANT-TO-DO-LESS-PERSON AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH WITH UBER-EXCESSIVE LOVING REAL BRANDI?!??!!?
i know. i know. It didn’t make sense to my excess soul either (i AM a drag queen after all 🙂 ) so let me assure you, THAT girl is still here. But now? Well, that girl is a bit more open to hearing the other side. Right now, i’m reading Greg McKeown’s Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less and what he’s preaching makes a whole lot of sense in relation to where i am now in my journey — overwhelmed, doing too many things that i’m not focused on doing any one thing exceptionally. i’ve been trying to put my finger on what it is EXACTLY i was put on this earth to do and how to best share my gifts with the world.
So instead of these first few months of the New Year being about hustling and producing, they’ve been about evolving and trying to understand where i want to go from here.
Meanwhile, while all this soul-searching and self-reorganization was happening, i got two more rejections — one from a business scholarship i applied for and the other from a magazine i was so sure i and my story was perfect for. Apparently, i wasn’t; And the magazine’s rejection led me to (discouragedly) declare to my wife that maybe i wasn’t meant to be a traditional freelance writer — you know the kind of writer that writes for other people’s visions. Maybe i was meant to just write for myself — publish my own books, magazines, and media.
That’s when my wife said something that of course i knew (and have known about myself forever) but in being wrapped up in “trying to make it” by other people’s standards and terms i had forgotten. She said, “You don’t have a traditional bone in your body.” She’s right. i don’t. Never have; never will.
What makes us different should also be the thing that makes us the most proud.
But in a world that celebrates consensus and sheep, it can be hard for us to remember that it’s our differences that have the potential to really change our life for the better.
Is it harder for someone to make a living who doesn’t want to go the traditional route? Um, yea it is! But is it possible? AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY. Just look at Elon Musk, 2 Dope Queens, and RuPaul. And the more i thought about it, the more i realized that’s the kind of creative entrepreneur — unconventional, radical creative — that i want to be.
And so i’m giving up the “more ” — aka trying to be everything to everyone and fit in where i wouldn’t be happy in belonging in the first place — and focusing on the less — the things i have always been passionate about: drag and expression; writing, teaching, and performing (selectively).
These are the areas that give me the most life that bring me the most joy that set fire to my soul and ignites so much electricity in me that it could light all of Dallas. And this is where i am choosing to focus from — despite how the rest world may feel about it.
My biggest deepest secret i want to share with you today is this: i, too, fail to remember that my otherness is my power. i, too, forget what makes me different makes me strong. It is a lesson i am still — and forever will be — trying to learn.
But at least we can figure it out and learn together. And that’s one thing (if not the only thing right now) that i’m sure of, lol.
i’m excited about sharing with you from this space of focus, from this space of less, from this space of learning and sharing what i’m learning as i go. It’s an exciting, scary place i’ve ventured into — and that’s how i know its right.
Mucho love + light and week full of less-ness your way!
P.S. In the spirit of less, i am retiring my first book Faux Queens – Fauxing the Real: Biological Women, the Art of Drag, and Why the Real IS Drag at the stroke of midnight Sunday, April 1st.
To celebrate two years in publication, if you buy the e-book before midnight April 1st, i will return the love by sending you a sneak peek of the Table of Contents of my new book (*hint*hint*) AAAND the first chapter of it when it’s finished (on or before May 31st)! Like me, it’s time for this book to evolve. But you still have time to get your hands on the original here http://bit.ly/FQFRGum before it becomes herstory — and a collector’s item ;).