Thank you Ryan McGuire

Photo by Ryan McGuire

Life is so beautifully overwhelming.
Thank you from the edges and center of my being for a magical and memorable year.
On the precipice of turning 38 and what has now become an annual ritual (it’s going into THREE YEARS . . . WHA?!?!? Where does the fucking time go?), here’s my look back in gratitude and my wishing forward in hope, perseverance, and love.
(Psst. If you’re interested, here’s the first and second year’s entries :). Enjoy! ♥)

38 things i’m extremely grateful for in my 37 year phase:


  1. Chani Nicholas – i can’t even with her. She has revolutionized my life.
  2. My partner. Everyday she out does herself in some way and i’m left awestruck. She blows my mind and inspires me to be the best fucking me i can be – and she believes i’ll get there.
  3. La luna. The moon in all her phases. How i love you so.
  4. This book.
  5. Letting go of fear and becoming the artist i want to be.
  6. Red Blends. Particularly Malbec. Especially THIS one.
  7. Dana B. – he knows why.
  8. Spotify. Seriously, how did i exist without it?!?!
  9. For C and i asking my parent’s blessing as we make our commitment official under the eyes of the law . . .
  10. And not reverting to my old ways (and anger) when they refused.
  11. For choosing to (finally) take myself seriously enough as an artist, creative, and visionary to jump – without a net . . .
  12. . . . and taking actionable steps to ensure i don’t chicken out.
  13. Saying no so i free up more room to say yes to things that really light me up.
  14. Random purging and cleaning out.
  15. This.
  16. GAG. (Hint: she’s about to go through another growth spurt ;).)
  17. i finally got rid of my PC ways and got (with some love and major help from mom and dad) a MacBook Pro. i love her. (But i still love my Galaxy Note more than my old iPhone – Be together not the same.)
  18. Investing in myself and my business. (Thank you Melissa Cassera 2016 is going to fucking rock!).
  19. Magic, miracles, and wonder.
  20. My gratitude book. Profoundly impactful. My number #1 must have for every/anyone.
  21. Forgiving – myself and others.
  22. Chartreuse.
  23. The Leftovers – for making me think in deep and profound ways watching TV – the likes of which i haven’t experienced since Lost.
  24. Letting go of giving any fucks of what other people think about me, my art, my life.
  25. Syphoning every ounce of negativity – people, place, things – out of my life.
  26. Living life more instead of posting about it.
  27. The many monetary gifts the universe has blessed me with.
  28. Excavating words from myself.
  29. Having had Crash in my life.
  30. My life and history in drag.
  31. Carrie Strong. Her vision + my vision = art. She knows how to show the world my soul, artfully. i can not say enough great things about her as a photographer and a person.
  32. My 37 years on this magnificent planet.
  33. For every kind word both said and written, positive energy and juju sent my way.
  34. For finding my gente, and for you being in it 🙂 ♥.
  35. Game nights with family.
  36. Finally understanding my gifts and letting go of my fear to use them to better myself and others.
  37. Embracing my both/ands. Being in love with my dualities and becoming and living, whole.
  38. Everything else that has transformed and change me that i have forgotten to include here.


38 wishes for the new year for me, you, them, us, the world, and our universe:


  1. Love. Always love.
  2. . . . and light.
  3. Art. Always a really close second to love.
  4. Healing. A balm and a solution to all the madness our world has endured this year – and many many years before.
  5. Magic, miracles, and wonder. And that we take the time to see and experience each of these daily.
  6. Gratitude. How can we expect the universe to respond to our current desires and wishes if we are not grateful for what we have right now? Even if it feels scarce, it’s still often so much more than what others have.
  7. A life less Kardashians and artifice; a life more FKA Twigs, Sia and art.
  8. Beauty – however you define it and see it.
  9. Success – in whatever form you and i seek.
  10. To launch my New moon in Sag book no later than February.
  11. GAG – the Podcast ;).
  12. To marry the person i love even if it means divorcing a piece of myself from my parents.
  13. To help one million creatives and people create, be, do whatever the fuck they want.
  14. Connectivity – to ourselves, each other, our non-human friends, and the world.
  15. To follow what lights us up instead of basking and living in the light of others.
  16. Being more instead of doing more; flow not force.
  17. Duende. Passion. A life full of it. A daily dance with it. Work full of it.
  18. To be of service to you and others via my articles, essays, creative projects, podcasts, and missives.
  19. To shine in new ways we haven’t before ;).
  20. Meditation and alignment.
  21. The right words – whenever, however you (and i) need them.
  22. Open. Open minds, open hearts, open conversations in the spirit of communion not forcing a change in one another.
  23. The gift of being present in every moment.
  24. The art of remembering.
  25. A Dallas Cowboy’s Super Bowl win. If that’s too big of a stretch, at the very least an appearance in the NFC championship game . . .
  26. More looking up and less looking down at our phones.
  27. For Finding Dory to be as good as i want/expect it to be.
  28. To manifest my mentor for this next phase of my life – and for you to manifest yours.
  29. Abundance, in every aspect.
  30. Courage + strength to follow through with what needs to be done to become the person you know you can be.
  31. Opportunities with a little splash of luck.
  32. More mano made things, less machine in my own art in the world.
  33. Spontaneity.
  34. To do all the things i say i’m going to do – and FINISH them.
  35. Focus, devotion, and determination.
  36. Happiness, the kind that makes you feel infinite and eternal.
  37. More breathless moments, art, connections, and experiences.
  38. Whatever you need to be successful, happy, and in love – with yourself, your life, others, and the world. Always love ♥.

Whatever you do and wherever the new year takes you, i wish you all the love, light, success, and abundance this universe has to offer. May you find yourself in experiences you never thought you’d look and your heart in places you never thought you’d find.
Eclectically and forever yours,
P.S. If you’re looking for a bit of inspiration and transformational energy to help ring the new calendar year in, here’s a list of 38 books that have transformed my life.