When i was a little girl, i dreamed of being a STAR. All caps. Big letters. Red carpet. Madonna level fame. Household name.
i dreamed of being creative, of dancing, of performing on every stage imaginable: theater, dance halls, on the big and household screens, on magazine covers, amphitheaters.
i’d spend days in my room on my mickey mouse desk in my red chair creating chime books (the kind where there’s a chime whenever you are supposed to turn the page), plays and dances to rows of stuffed animal audiences, different characters out of the box of ‘make-believe clothes’ that my parents would pick up for me at various garage sales, and books—so many books.
Not much has changed.
And yet EVERYTHING has changed.
This morning i pulled The Star card—the exact same card that i made a conscious pull to be my guide for the next 365 days as i uncage my most iconic wild wolf witch iconic self.
A few days ago i shared on my personal Instagram a meme that, out of all the world of memes, i feel best describes me.
Rainbow and cloudy
Neon pink and black
Light and shadow
Star and black hole
And a few days ago on this blog, i shared a question i woke up asking myself about my life as a movie.
i asked my wife that question over a glass of vino and a candle-flickered lighted room and we had a beautiful plática about life, dreams, love, and make-believe.
Part of the reason i chose the Star card as my personal guide through this 365-day journey is that, in addition to all those things i wanted to grow up being, i also have wanted to be all those for other people. To be a guiding star in someone else’s sky to help them navigate when all feels lost, when the waters of life get too rough and nothing bright seems to come their way, or when they simply need to see and believe that starshine is possible for them too.
i want to be a lighthouse for folxs who share the same desire to grow, evolve, unlearn, and live a life of radical magic.
It’s all in a quest to actually live the kind of movie i want my life to be, a fantasy adventure (or as i described to my wife last night, a fantastical fantasy).
But in order to actually live our chosen movie, we have to go through the setup, the prep phase, the “boring” part of the start of any book or movie where the audience is introduced to the characters, (i keep hearing Fred Savage’s voice in Princess Bride say, Is this a kissing book? When’s it get good?!?! And he has his grandfather skip to the good stuff).
But that stuff is essential to the story. It is essential to the star stuff.
Without the ‘boring’ elements of hydrogen and helium “churning nuclear forges inside their core” a star would NEVER be born.
So my question for all of us (myself included) is…
WHAT ARE WE FORGING IN OUR CORES?
From the elements of our life, what are we forging in our core? Are we siphoning out the elements that will lead us to our Star path or are we snuffing out our spark?
Fuck the Tik Tok and Instagram highlight reels.
This part right here, the prep, the setup, IS THE GOOD STUFF. Because it is full of all the elements, tinctures, and ingredients you need to forge yourself into the star that you are.
Sending you so much stardust and starbeams as you find your way through the nebula–the dust clouds—of your life!