It’s about the journey not the end destination.

i’m reminding myself of this as i literally just finished making 150 zine excerpts for both my books i’m releasing on female drag next month.
i made 150 of them as bag swag for this weekend’s Texas Queerlesque Festival – an event i’m both performing in (Friday night) and volunteering at (Saturday and Sunday’s Unicorn School).
From my initial idea of “i want to put something in the bags that’s . . . different” to the 3 hours it took¬†just to figure out¬†how to lay it out so they would print right (on one side you get one book, you flip and get another) to the actual construction of them: the printing, folding, and stapling, took about 48 hours.
Two days.
2880 minutes of majestic creative chaos.
Full of emotional ups and downs, celebrations and self-doubt.
i had to overcome it all and there was the proof that i did right in front of me.
But my battle is always an internal one . . .
And not everyone is going to see your vision.
When i emailed the final pdf to UPS to have them print a proof so i could make sure it all printed out right (the part i spent 3 hours on), i got this message back:
“The way it is set up currently, half¬†of your document will be right side up, the other half will be upside down. Are you trying to make this in booklet format?”
Yes, i’m “trying” to make a booklet.
i made a booklet – and it’s perfect just the way i sent it.
It just doesn’t look like all the other booklets you get sent to print.
So i bought an extra black ink cartridge and i printed them ALL, 170 total (some got jammed, eaten up, printed one-sided).
And not everything you do is going to turn you into a millionaire, make you famous, allow you to quit your job, buy a beach house on PCH, hire a chef . . .
But everything you do do is step closer to getting there (if that’s where you want to go).
Every $3 or $12 thing you put out with love, thought, and a sincere intention of serving others gets you that much closer to living out your dreams – whatever they may be.
“They” tell you not to lose yourself in the process.
But the process is the best place to get lost in.
If we don’t get lost in the process than our only other choice is to get lost in the end results – what happens after the thing is creating/constructed? What am i going to get out of it? What this going to do for me?
And the process – my 48 hours of dreaming, doing, creating and constructing my zine – was a billion times more filling and fueling than the delivery of them.
The process of putting together a package, creating the talent, making the costumes, sharing it all on stage and being crowned Miss Diva USofA was so much better than my actual reign.
That’s not to say that i’m not proud, excited, and happy with the end results – i am and was in all the above.
What i am saying is that in a society and culture that zooms in on the end results – How much money do you make? What do you do? How well known are you? How many likes do you have? – we lose sight of what really matters: that space between our brilliant idea and the end result.
Our process.
Our creative process.
That’s where the real magic is.
That’s where you are total unduplicatable.
Right now, wherever you are in your journey from where you are to where you want to be,¬†is the best part.¬†It’s the ‘fun’ part.
This space i’m in right now, the process i’m going through and sharing with you via Reinvention Wednesday, the creation of myself and who i want to be when i grow up is the best part of being whoever it is i’m striving to be.
Because this is the space where you get to be 150% you – and i get to be 100% me. i can fuck up without having it plastered all over the internet. i can try out a million different things without having to worry about it contradicting the story i’m trying to tell. i can be as outlandish, wild, creative, and inventive as i want to be because no one is looking – yet.
Maybe one day they will be.
But right now?
i get to live in the majesticness of the process.
And so can you.
Enjoy the process of becoming who you want to be; the space between where you are now and where you want to be.
It’s fucking magical!
Brandi-Amara-Skyy-Skyy BlueSignature-Blue-1024x311-1024x311
P.S. You can purchase my mano-made zine for $3 (shipping included!) here.

#ReWe Reinvention Wednesday is a {live} series on the art of reinvention and becoming. Every Wednesday(ish) i share my experiences in real-time as i shift from 9 to 5 into living + becoming what i love ‚Äď a full-time creative, writer, and empire¬†? . Read how it all began here.

Missed a few? Catch up below.

#ReWe 02: i have officially quit my job.

#ReWe 03: One big fat fucking rejection.

#ReWe 04: The calm before the storm. 

#ReWe 05: The Oatmeal sums me up as a writer. 

#ReWe 06: Feeling without the expectation of making art.

#ReWe 07: Rejection #3 + 17 thoughts i had about it.

#ReWe 08: My first book on drag for female dragsters is FINALLY ready to go!

#ReWe 09: The universe has my back. 

#ReWe 10: i woke up like this Рa self-employed creative. 

#ReWe 11: Duende. The full rejected essay from Reinvention Wednesday 07.